Why didn’t anyone tell me?!

Here it is. Here I am. Leaping off the top of a cliff, knowing innately I will fly just fine but wishing there was some sort of guarantee. 

But in life, there are none. 

And there definitely aren’t any when you are an entrepreneur. 

Why didn’t anyone tell me?!

Oh yeah. They did. 

I JUST DID IT ANYWAY. 

And oh my god…it’s so exhilarating. 

Sure, the chances of complete and utter failure linger in the dark like sleep paralysis demons in the corner. 

But we’ll make friends with them later. 

For now we are basking in the glory of a risk well taken and the Universe taking the wheel. 

We are shimmying in our chairs with glee. 

We are happy-dancing in the lobby at work. 

Someone just walked in hurry up sit down they're going to see us!!

Anyway. 

The thrill of finally doing something you’ve been hyping yourself up for weeks about is unparalleled. I’m sweaty, fidgety, excited and terrified all at the same time (is this what hard drugs feel like?). I feel like singing, and like crying. 

Any solopreneur worth their salt knows what I’m talking about. Whether they’re launching their business for the first time, or just upped their prices on their site, the mixed emotional high is the same. We have so much at stake and nobody to guide us. 

Except our own intuition. 

And however strong that might be, the trickle of doubt and fear is omnipresent. Like that leak your landlord won’t fix. Or your mother-in-law. 

So what do we do when the paralysis demons inch a little closer?

We sage the heck out of our house, that’s what. BUT THEN! Then we sit with the fear. We sit with the discomfort. We feel it. 

Have you ever heard the phrase “Get comfortable with discomfort”? It’s oxymoronic as hell, in several ways. 

One, it’s very nature is to be uncomfortable.  You can’t get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You can keep adjusting yourself on a chair made of spiky rock, but there’s no way you can get cozy on it.

Two, it doesn’t mean that being uncomfortable is going to be any easier, EVER. It means that you learn to accept that this is an uncomfortable situation or period. You understand that you can’t change the circumstances, you have to get through it. 

You can’t go over it, under it, around it. You gotta go through it. Ohhh nooo. (Anyone else know that old guy from that video? No? Just me?). 

I suppose we should really change the phrase to “Be accepting of discomfort” but that’s not nearly as fun. 

You might be thinking, “Gee, Ryan. How does someone just ACCEPT and be okay with being uncomfortable?” And that’s a great question. For me, it comes down to radical acceptance. 

As Thich Nhat Hanh says, as quoted in the book by Tara Brach, it is “An invitation to embrace ourselves with all our pain, fear and anxieties, and to step lightly yet firmly on the path of understanding and compassion.” 

Plain english, please. 

As you would a friend, sit down with yourself and do what you do for someone in pain. Console them, validate their feelings. Understand that there is no “fixing” their pain, but just by having someone to support them and talk to them is enough. 

That’s how we do it. That discomfort needs to be acknowledged and validated. You can’t drink it away. You can’t avoid it forever. You have to sit down and let yourself go through the process. 

In my case, that involves not refreshing my instagram page to see how my most recent post did or bugging all of my friends to repost it. Instead, I am going to refrain and focus on the things I can control, like the laundry list of items still on my docket for the day. 

It would be so much easier to fret and worry and obsess. 50% of my entire being is on edge from this latest venture I’ve embarked on. However, it would only prolong the discomfort. Despite hating the process, embracing my discomfort is going to ultimately reduce how bad it becomes. The inflammation settles, the pain lessens, and we heal quicker. 

So, my fellow entrepreneurs, I encourage you to sit down. Take a breath. Inventory the things you are uncomfortable with and give yourself some grace. Feel it. Let it have a home in your body. Light a candle if you need, or call a friend. Then, and only then move on to the next thing that needs your attention. (Because I know there’s something). 

I understand. And I got your back. 

Blessed Be!

-Ryan 

P.S. Before this post-script, the word count for this blog post is 777. :)